losing the baby weight: round two.

i know it's probably too early to be thinking much about this, but let's face it: i am anyway. i'm talking about losing the baby weight. i wasn't exactly as successful in limiting the weight gain as i set out to be with this pregnancy and instead gained about 40 pounds. yikes. 

although thats about what i gained with bennett too, so it shouldn't really be shocking. and this time around i started at about ten pounds less than i weighed when i got pregnant with bennett.

i either am remembering incorrectly or the weight isn't falling off right away like i think it did after i had bennett. i had bennett in july and was really swollen from the heat, so i'm sure it was water weight that came off fairly effortlessly. but still, i remember watching the number on the scale drop rapidly over the first couple weeks after having bennett without any work on my part. unfortunately i'm not having the same experience this time around.

i'm just now starting to make changes to my diet because i really don't like the number i'm seeing on the scale and it's not moving on its own. so, i'm going to do something about it. i know i only had a baby a month ago and need to give it time, but the dairy queen stops and takeout that became routine toward the end of my pregnancy are not helping and i need to get back to some healthier habits.

trying on clothes is extremely depressing- my maternity clothes don't fit right but my regular clothes don't fit yet either. this awkward in-between stage is tough. i bought a few new things to help get me through for now- the last thing i need is to have nothing to wear and feel even worse.

i'm not making much of an effort to work out just yet. i wanted to give myself six weeks to heal and settle into life with two kids before i really make exercise a priority. plus i can take both boys to the Y once hunter is six weeks old. i've done a few walks outside on the three nice days we have had since hunter was born (i swear that's not a joke). i think just starting with diet will help- exercise will come in time.

thank goodness kids are so fun and make life way better because the weight gain, stretch marks, etc. are not too fun. it is a small price to pay, though!

life with two.

things have been different around here lately! life with two is fun but busy!

easily the best part is watching bennett interact with hunter. he is unbelievably sweet with him and constantly says "hi, un-tah!", gives him smooches, and rubs his head. bennett also loves giving hunter high fives, though hunter usually gets a little startled! bennett is usually super gentle with him; sometimes he leans on him when he goes in for a smooch, so we are working on that. it's so fun to see them together and i am excited to see how their relationship evolves over time.

my morning view these days

getting out of the house is much more challenging than it was with just one. i asked my friend who has 3 kids if i'll ever be on time for anything again. she said it only gets worse... at least i'm not alone! most of our outings thus far have been successful at least. i learned the hard way that i need to take a carrier with me to target when i have both boys... there is no room for anything if i have bennett in the seat of the cart and hunter in the basket of the cart in his car seat. when we went to the library last week bennett did not want to stay by me and took off running a couple times, not listening when i told him to stop. that's tough anytime, but now that i have hunter i can't just run immediately after him. it was stressful but i am hoping bennett can learn quickly to listen when i tell him to stay close.

so mischievous

i have been able to get both boys napping at the same time many afternoons, which has been amazing. most days i have napped too! it is much needed rest for all of us! the house, laundry, etc. have been low on the priority list, but that's starting to catch up with me. i will soon start using nap time to get things done, but for now i'm taking my opportunities to sleep when i can get them.

nursing has been going well. hunter is growing and packing on the pounds! i'm struggling a bit because he often falls asleep while eating. this means lots of nursing because as soon as i put him down he wakes up wanting to eat more. i try to keep him awake but sometimes it's so much work that i give up. i know it will get better as he gets bigger, so i'm trying to not stress about it. i just feel badly for bennett that i'm constantly feeding hunter, but i guess that's just part of the adjustment. bennett is handling it better than i am, i think :)

baby blues.

let me just say: the baby blues are real. i had them with both my boys and it was an extremely unsettling experience both times.

for me, the baby blues played out as anxiety. everything completely overwhelmed me, primarily thoughts about how i could possibly be a good mom to two kids and how i would ever handle them both on my own when joe went back to work. i felt like every time i tended to one of them, the other was getting short-changed. while joe was home, he was able to entertain bennett while i fed hunter. i kept panicking about what i would do when i was nursing hunter and bennett needed me or wanted me to play. the thought of saying no to him or asking him to wait constantly made me feel so guilty. i know this is all normal, but the thoughts were all-consuming and reduced me to tears for major parts of the day for several days. i felt afraid and incapable. i'm sure sleep deprivation only intensified these feelings and made me more fragile.

fortunately i have a great support system in my husband, family and friends. joe often didn't know what to say when i was crying, but did his best to comfort me, teling me everything would be ok and encouraging me in my abilities as a mom. i was open with friends when they asked how i was doing and many of them began praying for me and checking in to see how i was doing or how they could help. my mom was available to chat when i called crying and encouraged me to call my OB, which i did. my OB was extremely understanding, reassured me that what i was feeling was normal, and offered me some medication to help me in moments of high anxiety. i only took the medication two times and it helped. mostly i think was comforting to know i had it in case i needed it.

my baby blues passed within about a week, thank goodness. not that i don't have some of the same thoughts, but i am not overcome with anxiety anymore. i am truly enjoying being a mom to my two boys and doing my best to give myself grace if bennett watches more tv than usual or the house is a mess or i stay in my pj's until noon.

hunter's birth story.

hunter joseph wienke was born on march 28, 2014. it has been 11 days since then and i finally feel like i have my feet underneath me again- at least enough to write a post! so, here's his birth story:

on wednesday the 26th (my due date), i went in for my appointment. as you can tell from my last few posts, i was beyond done being pregnant. i was almost in tears talking to my OB about scheduling my next appointment for monday. she talked about possibly inducing me the following tuesday or wednesday if i hadn't had him by then. she stripped my membranes (holy OUCH, by the way) and sent me on my way with a prediction i wouldn't make it to the appointment on monday.

wednesday night i was having contractions that were about 5 minutes apart or so, but they weren't painful. considering that my labor with bennett was both long and painful, i figured it wasn't the real deal. the contractions stopped and i went to bed in a great mood. ha. just kidding- i'm not sure i had been in a good mood in weeks. just ask joe.

thursday morning bennett and i went to breakfast with a couple of my girlfriends. i started having contractions, this time much stronger, but they were only coming every 20-30 minutes, if that. that lasted all day but again stopped before i went to bed. i woke up at around 1:45am to go to the bathroom. i had been having a dream that i was having painful contractions but quickly realized that i actually was having painful contractions. i started timing them and they were about 5-7 minutes apart. i woke joe up and told him. he was honestly pretty crabby and not helpful at all when i asked if he thought we should call the doctor. (he later told me he just assumed it was another false alarm. nice, huh?) i decided to time the contractions for a full hour and then call if they stayed consistent. they did, so i called and she told me to come in.

i called my friend meghan who lives close by to see if she or her husband could just come over to be with bennett until my parents could get there. we called my parents and they got in their car to head to our house. mike arrived a few minutes later and we took off. side note: my car had been in the shop twice over the past two weeks for some wiring issue that they couldn't quite resolve. when we started my car to go to the hospital, wouldn't you know that all the same indicator lights lit right up? that really helped joe's mood...

we arrived at the hospital at about 3:30am and got checked in. the nurse checked and i was dilated to almost 5cm. joe and i high fived at that point, knowing we would be having a baby shortly. the nurse said she would get me checked into labor and delivery. i asked if the room had a tub to labor in. she said "no, it doesn't- did you not want an epidural?" i said i did and she said i could get it right away if i wanted. so obviously i said screw the tub, bring on the meds!

the epidural was the worst part of the whole deal. i have no memory of getting my epidural with bennett. i was so exhausted and in so much pain after 12+ hours of labor that i truly fell asleep while they were putting the epidural in. this time i was too aware of what they were doing and i got really grossed out by the whole thing. plus it hurt! but it was for sure worth it; i only had about 3 hours of painful labor before i got the epidural. much more manageable!

not long after i got the epidural (around 5am), my OB came in to see me. she said the baby's head was still kind of high due to the extra amniotic fluid i had. she didn't want to break my water with the baby's head so high because there would be a risk that the cord could come down and wrap around the baby's neck. she wanted to start pitocin and see if we could get the baby's head low so she could break my water without that risk. by 9am i was 9cm dilated and the baby's head was nice and low, so she broke my water. she told me to let the nurses know if i felt the urge to push.

at 9:35am, i began feeling like i needed to push. we had to wait a little bit so my OB could finish a delivery down the hall. she came in and got set. i pushed 2 times, and our sweet hunter joseph made his debut at 10:04am.

8lb 9oz (over a full pound bigger than his older brother!),19" long, and a nice loud cry (again, unlike his older brother who was fine but didn't cry when he was born).

we are overjoyed and completely in love with our sweet boy- the perfect addition to our little family. bennett has been absolutely amazing with hunter and we couldn't be more proud of him.

thank you for all the prayers and well-wishes!