active choices.

weight loss is tough. it's hard to make choices everyday that are healthy despite tons of opportunities to do just the opposite. as much as weight loss is about behaviors (what/how much you eat, exercise) i am learning that the majority of the battle is mental. it's a choice, plain and simple. yes, you need to find a "plan" that works for you, determine the right amount of calories that keeps you full but allows for weight loss, etc. but at the end of the day, it's about choosing to stick to something. deciding that you want to reach your goal more than you want the dessert everyone else is enjoying when you're out of calories for the day. going for that jog or to that class at the gym even when you're tired or getting over a cold. it's about active choices.

so often i've acted like things just "happen" to me... weekends, dinners out, parties, vacations. i've let those things be my reasons for making bad choices but acting like they weren't choices at all. like i was a passive victim of circumstance. in reality, i'm making my choices, good or bad. and i want to feel good about the choices i'm making. i want to see results and reach my goals. that's why, despite calorie tracking and exercise being tough, i keep at it. it doesn't feel as hard to stick to it when i've made up my mind that this is what i want.

it's been helpful that joe is not only supportive of my goals but he has fitness goals of his own. he's challenging me to start jogging because it's something i've always said i couldn't do. i never run. like never. except my mouth. but that unfortunately doesn't burn many calories. joe started training for a 10k and has talked me into doing it with him (what?!?). he encourages me and tells me how proud he is of me and how hard i'm working. although yesterday on our walk/jog a snake jumped up from between slats on a bridge and i thought to myself, "this is why i don't run." seriously.

despite the snake attacks, i'm just going to persevere. i have things to prove to myself.