well, apparently that's no longer the case. i mentioned before that joe decided to train for a 10k and that i reluctantly agreed to do some of the training runs with him.
we started with running one minute, walking two minutes, repeat.
since then we have gradually increased our running intervals and decreased our walking intervals. it's been fun to do together and joe has been extremely encouraging.
honestly, for me running has been a major source of anxiety for most of my life. i literally tried to fake sick every time i knew we had to do the mile run fitness test in gym class all through grade school (you can ask my mom). i have always been slow and absolutely hated being one of the last to finish the run, especially because at my school all the kids sat on the bleachers by the track when they were done with the mile and waited for everyone else to finish. so not only was i slow, but my lack of athleticism seemed to be on display for all my peers to see. it sounds dramatic but it was truly a traumatizing experience for me looking back and i remember thinking i'd never run again once i didn't have to for school.
but i think that sense of inadequacy or failure around running has been a roadblock throughout my journey toward fitness and a happy/healthy weight. it's one of those nagging voices in my mind saying "you don't have what it takes." but i'm really getting to a different place mentally. no longer are my motivations for eating less and working out merely skin-deep. i want to achieve the things that i have been telling myself i can't for as long as i can remember, and that includes being a "runner." don't get me wrong, i'm not setting out to run a marathon or anything. and not because i don't think i can, but because i don't have the desire or the time to commit to it. but i want to push myself to do things like 5 and 10k races, and maybe even someday a half marathon.
on monday i ran 3 miles without stopping a single time to walk. it's the first time in my life i've ever run that far without stopping. i mapped out a 3 mile loop around my neighborhood and set out with the goal of running the whole thing. it. was. hard. there were a few hills i thought would never end and i wanted to stop so badly a couple of times. but i didn't. i know my body can do more than my head says it can and proving that voice that says "you can't" is what was most rewarding.
joe wants us to sign up for the twin cities monster dash 10 mile race on october 25th. i'm not sure about it yet- 10 miles is a loooong way to run. but the fact that it sounds so scary is what makes me think i should take the plunge and do it. stay tuned...