pregnancy weight gain.

my baby bump (more like carb bump) popped in the last week. i'm only 11 weeks, but i think you can already tell i'm pregnant. i for sure can.

and i'm already wearing maternity pants (which are heavenly, by the way). as much as i know you're supposed to gain weight and get bigger when you're pregnant, this is the second time around and it's just as tough to accept this time as it was the first. maybe harder because it seems to be happening faster, which i heard is pretty normal for a second pregnancy.

it'd be one thing if i was eating well and exercising and my weight was going up. then at least i'd be able to say confidently "it's the baby." that's, unfortunately, not the case. i'm not eating well or exercising, and the baby is the size of a lime. my bump is shaped more like a bowl of pasta (ha).

my eating has been all out of whack. this is partially because i've been nauseous and it gets worse when i'm hungry, so i swear i'm eating all. the. time. but if we're being honest, it's partially because i [without initially realizing it] gave myself a pass. i said, i'm pregnant and don't feel good so i can eat whatever sounds good whenever it sounds good. that might be fun for like a week, but it's had a negative impact on me- both physically and emotionally. don't get me wrong, i'm not sinking into a deep depression or anything. but i don't feel good.

i do so much better with a structured "plan" (this applies to anything- not just weight control). but there's so little information out there about eating while pregnant. everything just says "eat healthy." i'd love to know: how many calories should i eat in a day? a lot of things i've read have said pregnant women require 300 more calories per day. 300 more than what? 300 more than the number of calories i was shooting for when trying to lose weight? 300 more than the number it would take for me to maintain my weight? i'm really not sure.

i guess i'll just stick with this (my current plan)

i'm confident that i've gained more than just a couple pounds at this point, but i can't be sure how many because something's wrong with our scale. no, really. i stepped on and almost had a heart attack. then joe stepped on and said there's no way the scale is right because it said he'd gained like 9 lbs in one week or something. thank goodness we're sure that's not the case, because it's not outside the realm of possibility for me right now...

i lost all my baby weight plus ten more pounds in about 9-10 months after bennett was born and before i found out i was pregnant again. so, maybe i shouldn't worry so much and just trust that after the baby comes, i can lose what i gained all over again.